Why do we hurt the ones we love? Is it intentional? Is it lack of foresight? Is it malicious?

"To love is to struggle, beyond solitude, with everything in the world that can animate existence. This world where I see for myself the fount of happiness my being with someone else brings. "I love you" becomes: in this world where there is the fount you are for my life. In the water from this fount, I see our bliss, yours first." In Praise of Love.

It is accurate to our collective struggle that we seek to understand what it means to love and what it means to hurt those we love. I must echo a sentiment that has resonated within me the moment I heard it: Love is a choice. Media and society paint love as a metaphysical concept. But I do not believe that to be true. Indeed, love is not a noun; love is not an adjective; but rather, it is a verb. The very action of loving someone is intentional When we stop making that choice, thus breeds the toxic complacency that errodes the connection between two people.

Struggle and hardship cannot be divorced from love. At all stages in a relationship with someone (romantic or otherwise) risk is inherently present at all times. Love is an asymptote. Although we may wish for its status of perfection, it only ever teases to realize as such.

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My friend, I have hurt you. Like my relationship with so many things, I was overzealous in thinking our love could not succumb to true struggle and would instead peacefully overcome any obstacle lying in its path. That zeal made me complacent and at times hostile to your feelings. I am hurt by my lack of thought for you.

I do not demand pity nor do I demand comfort. On the contrary, I must sit in this discomfort. For far too long have I indulged myself freely in the comfort I've taken for granted from you. So I will sit and wait, not passively, until such time that I've earned a little more comfort in this relationship. Until then, please wait for me. Let me show you that I can be better, that I can view your bliss first, before even mine own, in this fount of love.

Thank you for the trust. The trust in the belief that I have the will to change. Please, let me show you that I am capable as such. If I prove to not, then cast me into the wicked void of agony and despair-- to which is the same my actions sent you.